I’ve been seeing a bit of Trevor v Mickey comparison and while I definitely think there is NO comparison, I think it’s important to point out exactly why I feel this way. I’ve also seen a rising effort to defend Trevor (which is fine. After all, half of my blog is defending Mickey and Ian, so I’m definitely not judging the effort.) BUT I have some problems with Trevor and I think it’s important that people fully understand the objections against him because some people try to frame any criticism against him as transphobia… 

Guys, frankly, I think putting Trans people on a pedestal and allowing them to do whatever they want or say whatever they want regardless of how other people are affected is another kind of Transphobia. Being afraid you’ll make a transphobic comment, and so defending someone who is in the wrong is another kind of transphobia. It doesn’t automatically make you a racist if you have a beef with someone who happens to be of a different ethnicity, and it doesn’t make a man automatically a sexist for disagreeing with a woman, right? Well, it’s also okay to dislike a Trans person separate from their gender identity or expression. My beef with Trevor is 110% separate from his gender identity, and I hope I prove it to you.

What is the difference between Trevor and Mickey? I’ve seen a few times that people tried to excuse Trevor being an asshole because Mickey is also an asshole. And they’re not wrong. Mickey IS an asshole, albeit a charming one.

I don’t want anyone to confuse that my defense of Mickey is saying he’s a saint, or trying to claim that his actions are not still wrong when they are; Mickey does a lot of things that are really morally questionable, and my defense of these actions are simply my way of explaining why he should not be automatically condemned as a “bad person” for these actions and instead we need to open a dialogue about the motivation behind these actions. A lot of our criminals, I’m sure, are like Mickey who do have pretty good reasons for their questionable behavior, though of course no one would accept those excuses in real life, so we have to open those discussions in our media.

Trevor, that we know of, doesn’t have these reasons motivating his hurtful actions. He has a stable job, he works with homeless LGBTQIA+ youth, he likes going out and having a (responsible) good time, he has a group of peers that loves and supports him for who he is… So his brand of asshole is different from Mickey’s because from what we know of Trevor, he doesn’t have a reason for being that way. Yes he is Trans, yes he faces discrimination and opposition, and that would turn anyone defensive. And there are a couple of passes that I will give Trevor for being an asshole to Ian, for example the first time they meet. But have we been given enough information to excuse how he treats Ian over the five episode arc he’s in? In my opinion, absolutely not.

So where’s my offense?

A key difference between Mickey and Trevor: Mickey never manipulates Ian into doing anything. Ever. Mickey never tried to drag Ian into the drug ring, Mickey never tricked Ian into going on a run, Mickey didn’t give Ian an ultimatum when Ian didn’t want to do something he wanted to do in bed in order to force Ian into having sex the way he wanted to or not at all… the list goes on. Mickey never forced Ian to do anything. 

In fact they each kind of followed each other’s lead the whole time. Mickey didn’t want kisses so Ian didn’t push. Ian didn’t want to use the anal beads and Mickey didn’t push. Ian finally said after two years that he wanted kisses and it looked like Mickey was ready to try it and wasn’t forced. The one time anyone pushed anyone to do anything in this show was Ian pushing Mickey to come out and I still argue that he didn’t mean for that to go down the way it did. 

Trevor was unsatisfied with a platonic friendship with Ian, who was clearly uncomfortable with having a sexual relationship with him. And I’ve seen some people accusing Ian of being transphobic for this. Ian is not transphobic. Ian is uneducated and so is uncomfortable with the unfamiliar. There is a difference. And he is unsure if he would be sexually attracted to this man because he doesn’t understand Trevor as a sexual person and also probably never thought about if he would be attracted to a trans man. Transgenderism is completely new on Ian’s radar so ALL of this information he’s taking in is coming at him at once and sometimes is being relayed in a really unhealthy/condescending way. 

 What really disgusts me is the ultimatum that Trevor put forward when Ian made it clear that he was uncomfortable. Despite the mixed signal from a drunken makeout session, which Ian set straight the next morning but Trevor was having none of, Ian didn’t push a sexual relationship with Trevor. Trevor presumed a mutual sexual attraction and refused to listen to Ian’s discomfort or feelings in general. Instead of understanding that Ian is immersing himself in subject matter that he is uninformed of, and tackling a subject that is bewildering to him, Trevor expects entirely too much from Ian all at once. He expects Ian to basically go from being fixated on Trevor’s genitalia and trying to understand Trevor’s sexuality and identity, to having sex with him and being okay with it. That is a huge leap that Trevor is unfairly expecting Ian to tackle. 

Mickey on the other hand, never forced Ian to do anything he didn’t want to do. He fought tooth-and-nail for Ian to continue going unmedicated until it was clear that Ian being unmedicated was dangerous for himself and others. Mickey listened to what Ian wanted and tried to give him that because Mickey listened to Ian’s wants instead of assuming he knew what was best or that Ian’s wants would coincide with his own. I feel that a lot of people ignore Ian’s feelings throughout the whole series (including fans watching the show). Take for example Ian and Trevor in general. People ignore Ian’s discomfort due to his first real encounter with transgenderism and try to push him into being excited to be with someone he doesn’t understand! That makes no sense. And instead of hearing that Ian is uncomfortable, people hear that Ian is transphobic or people hear Trevor wants to be with Ian and therefore Ian needs to give the guy what he wants because, bless him, he’s Trans and automatically deserves Ian’s affections. 

Yes. T.V. needs more trans representation and a part of that representation is to give trans characters a romantic plotline to show that love and relationships with Trans people are normal and just as valuable as relationships with cis people. BUT if the love interest has to persuade the cis-gender love interest to have sex with them and is going to throw a hissy fit when the cis person is uncomfortable, then forget it. That is HORRIBLE representation. Not all representation is good and we have the right to be picky about representation, especially for a community that is still so controversial to the mass audience and whose issues are only just now starting to be received. (I as a bi person am very frustrated at how little representation there is for bi people at ALL much less positive representation *cough* Caleb *cough*)

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YOOOOOOOOOO MY LOVE OUT HERE DOING WORK

All of this. Every bit of it. Trevor does not get a pass because he’s trans. He’s a terrible character and for the first time, ever, in my history of Shameless, I’m saying that Ian deserves better.